No Strings Attached

Bernard DeLoach is a friend and mentor of mine. He’s the Internet Campus Pastor at Discovery Church in Orlando, Florida, USA. Here’s a glimpse of the goodies in Bernard’s heart and mind.  You can become his Facebook friend.

When telemarketers call me to sell me something, I tend to hang up the phone. This is because I know the only reason they are calling me is to sell me something I have expressed no interest in and also because I don’t know them. I know their only goal is to sell me something (and if you are a telemarketer and reading this – no offense intended). But if my friend calls me and says I should buy something because it has enhanced their way of living, I listen. I listen because I know them as a person and have learned to trust them and know that they really care about me. I think there is some truth in this as to the way we Christ followers have approached evangelism.

It seems sometimes we use “hit and run” tactics in the sense that we want to rush in, tell people about Jesus, and then get out quickly. I think this has caused the world to think that we are only interested in “converting” them and not loving them as well. This comes across as inauthentic and thus leads people away from God in my opinion, not towards Him.

Several years ago I suddenly found myself in a place in life where I no longer seemed to be around any non Christ followers anymore. I prayed quite diligently about finding a way to get more opportunities for this and not long after that found my way onto Facebook. These days I have Facebook friends in 26 countries. Only a few of them are Christ followers. Others are atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish and Pagan. But my main reason for establishing a friendship with these dear people was not to “convert” them, but to try and love them. I would wish with all my heart that they could know my God the way I do, but my primary motivation was to love them. I have found that when people get to know me and they see that I genuinely care about them and that I have no “agenda” that more than several of them have asked me about God without me ever bringing it up. My question to our Christian community is “are we prepared to love people unconditionally and to enter into relationship with them in order for them to want to know God?”

So here is some advice on how to meet people on Facebook. As you know, they are many groups and fan pages on Facebook. The best way to start a relationship is to find something you have in common. So for me for instance, I know that my Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ. There is a group on Facebook for every Myers-Briggs personality type. My group has more than 3000 people in it. I page through the members and ask the Holy Spirit to prompt me about someone or look for people in interesting places in different parts of the world.

I usually start a conversation by asking what it is like to be an INFJ in their part of the world and tell them where I am from. But pick anything there is a fan page for which has something you are passionate about and you can relate to the other person with it. But let me challenge you not to do this just to “convert” people. I told my Muslim friend in Tunisia right up front that I was a Christ follower but that I was not striking up a friendship in order to convert them and I meant it. We are great friends and I have invited her to someday come to my home and stay with my family for a vacation. You may be saying “is that legal – to have a Muslim in your home?” I don’t know if it is “legal” or not but I can tell you that I would be honored to have a Muslim in my home. Does that statement make you uncomfortable? Good. I think it is about time we became uncomfortable and started loving the world around us so we Christ followers become known as lovers of people. Maybe then they would take God seriously.

Wouldn’t it be great if people of other religious views would say “those Christians they really know how to love people”? So you must understand that I really love my Facebook friends. I don’t want anything from them nor am I trying to change them or talk them into anything. I love them right where they are and for who they are. My greatest wish for them is that they would come to know God the way I do, but that is not the primary reason that I am their friend.

Heavenly Father, help us be willing to enter relationships that make us uncomfortable for Your name’s sake. Let us be known not for having an agenda to convert the world, rather let us be known for sharing Your love. Amen.